oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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