I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Randomize