My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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