I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
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He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a kid would responsible me up
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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