Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
