HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
my poor anus
Im part way to drunk.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
