i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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