so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Randomize
