Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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