Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
