That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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