I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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