if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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