Got a toothbrush?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She's the barista slut.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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