Dual....:-)
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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