The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I didn't notice because vodka
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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