oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
