Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
