Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize