He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
