Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
