White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
