And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
