i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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