Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
