Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Quick, to the slutcave!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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