We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
