dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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