I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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