you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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