Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
