Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
