dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
