i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
