i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
