Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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