i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
