im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
