if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize