apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
