i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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