if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
