You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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