They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
