ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
