Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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