just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
