I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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