So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We have started to decorate penises.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
