i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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