I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
