That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the day after is always just damage control
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
