he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize