Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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