Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
