how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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