I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Pooping to opera.
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