The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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