It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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