who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dignity is for republicans.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
