I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
