Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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