Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
