margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize