You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
being pregnant is like rehab
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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