are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
