i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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